this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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