I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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