speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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