If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize