Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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