I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
