i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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