i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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