Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
