Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
