So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize