I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
