It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Panties = found
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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