So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
