omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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