I can tuck mytits in my pants
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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