Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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