Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
