I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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