How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize