um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
