what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
