So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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