She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
They are going to name an STD after you.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
