were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
