Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
