We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
