I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
send nudes
from the living room?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
