I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
