also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I had to cum in my sink.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
