I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
