Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
