Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
