threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
