Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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