I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
