Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
