i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
