she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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