dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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