If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
