when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
How does one acquire holy water?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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