I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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