I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
