i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Randomize
