Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
