he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
