Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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