You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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