Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
