u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize