I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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