she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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