ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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