This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
