So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
