That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Terrible idea I love it
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
