I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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