So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
