Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We are all done wearing pants today
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
