I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
