i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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