He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Small penises have feelings too.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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