I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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