physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
