You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize