btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
