is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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