His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
