I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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